What would Katharina do?

What would Katharina do? 

 Two months ago, my Marty and I were getting some much needed “us” time at a local dinner.  While we were enjoying our BLTs a single lady of our approximate age struck up a conversation with us.  As it turns out, she is Lutheran and shopping for a church since she is new to the area.  So, as I often do, I invited her to church. 

Oh how I have come to regret that invitation.  Although, Marty assures me that since she was church shopping she would have shown up without my invitation anyway. 

 At first, everything seemed fine.   She has become a regular attendee and has even decided to attend the many prayer services throughout the week.  But shortly after she started to attend service, she requested to meet privately with my Marty.  As her new pastor, he agreed and a time was set up.  Well, this one time meeting turned into a standing weekly meeting where she would come to the church and shoot the breeze with Marty.  For confidentiality reasons, Marty can’t tell me what is discussed in these meetings, but he has shared these meetings are making him uncomfortable because she appears to just want to “hang out” instead of get pastoral counseling.   

 And then there are the emails.   Many, Many emails.

 And now she appears to be trying to spend as much time as possible with Marty.  When the church is unlocked during business hours, she’ll show up unexpectedly to “read”.   After church she hangs around until everyone has left the building and then follows Marty around as he closes up.  And when Marty tells her he has an appointment he has to get to, she will burst into tears expecting consoling. 

Here’s the short of it, my Marty has done everything by the book.  If he knows she is going to be at a meeting or prayer service, he always makes sure he is not alone with her.  He has asked her to stop emailing him and he doesn’t answer when she does (which is often).  He has requested she find a professional councilor (which really made her angry), and he has informed the church president, a handful of peer pastors, his wife (me), and his bishop about the situation.    He has been given loads of good advice, all of which he has tried; but the woman just isn’t getting it. 

What would Katharina do?  I know what I would have done in my earlier life, before I became a Katie Luther.  I would not have been this patient.  I would have let my cat claws come out and told this woman to back off.  However, if I’m being rational, I know that if Marty telling her to “go away” hasn’t worked, why would adding my voice make a difference?  And to be honest, even if I tied, I’m not very scary. 

So, I ask again, what would Katharina do?  Would she trust her Martin to handle the situation?  Would she pray for the misguided woman?  Would she make friends with the woman and hope that Christian love and charity would help her see how badly she is behaving? 

My father warned me about misguided woman who fall for their pastors.  And of course I had heard stories while Marty was attending seminary, but I didn’t expect it to happen to us or at the very least to happen so soon.  And while I don’t want to label her “crazy” I do wonder what has gone so wrong in her life that she would push herself at her married pastor in this way. 

As I look to the future, I know that it is inevitable that she will leave our church.  She will have to, and soon.  But as sure as the sun sets in the west, it will not be a clean or tidy ending.  And even if I don’t know how Katharina would handle this woman, I know she would stand behind her Martin and be there for him to lean on.  I intend to do no less for my Marty!